Long story short: women come to me because they want to know what styles work for them. What they invariably mean is that they want to hear from an objective expert what is most aesthetically pleasing on their physical self so that they can look their very best.
So I tell them.
But it’s not enough.
I don’t mean to underplay the value of understanding which clothing, hair, accessories, etc. will be naturally in harmony with you and bring out your very best. (Or, for those who have been with me a while, the value of knowing your Image Archetype.) Just knowing what really suits you aesthetically can be life-changing.
I get it – when not feeling like you look your best in your clothes seems to be the problem, it’s not a massive leap to assume that knowing how to pick things that look good would be the solution. But let’s be honest, the purpose of your wardrobe is almost certainly not (nor probably should be) JUST looking pretty.
We want a whole lot more from our wardrobes, and rightly so. In my years of working with women to develop their personal style, I’ve identified two more very important jobs that our clothing needs to do for us. First, we need to feel like ourselves in our clothes. We need to be able to look in the mirror and have our reflection make sense with who we feel we are inside. If we don’t, no matter how pretty the picture may be, we end up feeling misrepresented, at odds with ourselves.
Second, we need our wardrobes to make sense in our lives. They need to go with us to the office, to daycare, to a funeral and a picnic, on really cold days and on vacation in Bali, and they need to support us and not inhibit us from doing the things we came there to do. The need to be comfortable, wearable, walkable, washable, and for heaven’s sake to please not require a strapless bra on a regular Tuesday.
AND THEN we’d also like to look nice, thankyouverymuch.
Hence, the Venn Diagram.
If we neglect our physical design in our wardrobes, we feel frumpy, unattractive. If we neglect our desires in our wardrobes we feel inauthentic, restricted to the confines of someone else’s shoes. If we neglect our goals in our wardrobes, we feel distracted, out of place. To be truly at peace and at home in our clothes, fully comfortable in our own skin, we must have a wardrobe that respects our bodies, our lives, and our selves. All at the same time.
At the center of the Venn Diagram lies a Signature Style that, by virtue of being created from this layered tapestry of everything you are, is inherently unique in all the world. By its very nature, a signature style that comes from the center of the Venn Diagram will suit you effortlessly, having been created from parts of you.
The only trouble with something unique to you in all the world is, there isn’t already a template to follow. You must forge the template in your own image.
I know the idea of doing this yourself might feel insurmountable. You might not know how, but you can learn. You may have to find your Signature Style for yourself, but you don’t have to do it by yourself.
I’ve spent years developing a formula to help women figure out what the right wardrobe for them should look like, and then build that wardrobe. I call it the CURATE formula, and you can read about it in Chapter 2 of my book, The Curated Wardrobe. Go ahead and click to sign up here, and I’ll send it to you, my gift.
If that formula sounds good to you, and you’d like some help implementing it to find your way into the center of the Venn diagram, I invite you to join the Society of Extraordinary Style. Members get feedback from me on live calls every single week to help them develop their own unique signature style and a wardrobe they love and feel great in.
However you get there, I wish you happy trails on your journey to the center of the Venn Diagram. 🙂