Let’s imagine you and I decide to go on a road trip. We pack up some snacks and drinks, a change of clothes perhaps, and hop in the car.
Before long we’re off! We crack the windows and the air feels good. After a while maybe we come to a beautiful lake or a park with a huge old tree and a nice garden. We stop and take in these sights, and there is real joy in exploration.
Sooner or later, however, after more than a few sing-a-longs and bathroom breaks, a question begins to form.
“How long until we get there?”
We try to avoid asking each other too pointedly, it feels too close to whining. But as snacks run low, as one rest stop blends into another, we can’t help but think about it more and more. We get irritated and tired. We still pass beautiful sights and places but now we can’t enjoy them. It feels like we’re driving in circles.
“When will we get there?”
The thing is, we forgot to decide where “there” was. And so not only do we have no map to follow, but the sensation of not knowing whether we are any closer or further than when we started grows stronger and stronger. Joyful and open exploration starts to feel like a hamster wheel we can’t get off of.
This is very much what it looks like for many women when they set out to “improve their wardrobe”, “dress a little better” or “look more pulled together”.
At first, there are so many things to learn and see. Books! YouTube videos! Pinterest! Instagram! In the beginning, she looks forward to that time in the evening when she can peruse some outfit ideas or watch a video about choosing the right hair color. She might start by rolling up her sleeves and fishing some things out of her closet to go in a goodwill bag. Even more likely, she buys a Thing.
New Thing is exciting, as is a little extra space in the wardrobe. But then maybe after a wearing or two new Thing seems like it might have been wrong for her. Probably a fluke. Probably, she buys another.
She spends more and more time reading, watching, and pinning about her wardrobe, but now it’s not as fun. She realizes she’s refilling her wardrobe and maybe it’s not much better than before. Or she’s frozen in place and can’t seem to find anything at all to buy even though she’s sure now she hates the clothes she does have. A question appears in her mind.
“How long until I get there?”
Just like in our road trip metaphor, a journey that began as an exhilarating romp through boundless terrain has started to feel like a directionless tailspin. And the reason is the exact same.
She forgot to set a destination before she set out.
This way, there can be no road map, no step by step guide, and no way of knowing whether what she’s doing is getting closer to her goal or further away. This kind of journey will continue long after we’ve lost the taste for it.
The only solution is to discover the destination. Ideally, before the journey even begins, but each day is a new opportunity to begin anew, even if it’s taken your entire life so far.
Only then can we plot a course. Only then can we feel the wind on our faces as the landscape behind disappears into the rearview mirror, knowing we are headed towards what we always dreamed could be possible.
It can feel overwhelming to have to choose. Alaska looks just as nice as New Mexico. Instinctively, many of us fear being limited. Or that we will make the wrong choice and get stuck.
After many years working with women to develop their wardrobes and realize their goals around their personal style, I have come to believe that within each woman already exists everything we need to know to know the answer. Often, that answer may be obscured by years of outside influence and misdirection, but nevertheless, it is there.
Almost invariably, women come to me as their stylist asking “what works for me?” I am obliged to answer truthfully that I don’t know – but I do know how to find out.
Over years of working with countless women to guide them through this process, I developed a method to uncover what truths lie below the surface, waiting to tell each woman where to go.
I follow this method in my private work with my VIP clients throughout the year. The transformational results we are able to achieve are incredible.
Just twice during the year, I lead my membership, The Society of Extraordinary Style through it as a group. Experiencing what unfolds all together is a pretty magical thing.
Our last cycle for 2020 begins tomorrow, and so I’d like to extend an invitation. If you’ve been struggling for weeks, months, or years trying to figure out your style and your wardrobe, I would love for you to join us.
Because I want as many women who want to finally stop spinning their wheels and find clarity to be able to join, for the next week, I’m offering the first month of membership to the Society for $5 with the code FIRSTFOR5.
And to make it even better, if you sign up during this window, I will gift you a half-hour 1-on-1 session to discuss your Image Archetype and give you my feedback.
You can leave the membership (and also rejoin!) anytime you like with just a click of a button, no explanations required.
I hope you’ll join us during this very special time and discover clarity and confidence around your wardrobe and true forward momentum towards your style goals. Click here and enter the code FIRSTFOR5 at checkout to join us for $5.
I can’t wait to see you there!